Saturday, August 29, 2009

My least favorite word.

Change. Especially when it's used in the phrase, "Change you can believe in." I cringe when I hear that overused, grossly misused phrase. The news is full of this word. Lately it has been used and received in a negative way and normally I don't like first. The term 'If it ain't broke, don't fix it' is good advice, in my opinion. I like small, normal things to change. Take paint colors, for instance. I love a new paint color every now and then. I like to change up the look of the rooms in my house and move the furniture around. I like some things to change, but when it comes to BIG things - things that affect my future, my family or my bank account, I tend to hesitate at the thought of change. The all-important question relating to change is "WHY?" Why do things have to change? Why do I not want to change? Why should I consider change? Why does anything have to change if everything is working just fine the way that it is? WHY? I'm being vague here on purpose, but I've been having to ask myself these questions lately about some things in my world that are changing. When I look back at major changes that occurred in my life I can clearly remember the feeling I had when those changes were presented to me. Leaving home to go to college. Coming back home after college with no prospect of marriage in my future. Moving away from home to a different state knowing only one person. All of those times were very hard for me, but they all contain one common denominator....God's perfect will for my life. I did not want to leave home for college. I wanted to be near my family and my church more than anything. But God wanted me in Florida at a great college. Then, I had planned to meet someone during college and get married after I graduated. But God did not want that for me at that time. I had many lessons to learn and growing to do before He could allow that. After college, I wanted to find a good, lucrative job and still be near my family and my church. God wanted me to move away from home, live on my own, find my own church and meet new friends. I remember that feeling of distress that I was actually going to leave my family and be on my own and sobbing over that for a long time, but inside having complete peace that I was doing what God wanted me to do. I was torn. Other circumstances come to mind, too, and all of them were just as difficult as the ones I mentioned. Now, I can look back on those changes and see God's loving hand leading me in every difficult step that I had to take. Sometimes I can't see the 'Why' in everything until I just take that next step and trust the One in Whom I have placed my trust. He will never lead me down a wrong path. I know I can count on Him to lead even when my heart feels sad or worried about the prospect of such change. And sometimes, just talking about change causes me to take a closer look into why I do things the way I do or why I like things to be a certain way even if the change never really occurs. Above all else, it causes me to lean closer to God and His will rather than my own understanding. Change can be good. Not always easy, but good.

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